Keep Breathing
by TheObsessor11294
Summary: The Winter soldier didn't need a partner. He had his mission, and that the end of it. Loki of Nowhere, HYDRA's newest test subject who fell from the sky, would like to say the same. HYDRA disagrees. AKA, 5 times they didn't remember each other and the 1 time they did.
1. Keep Breathing

Hello All! I'm so sorry for abandoning my stories, I just realized exactly how crappy I am at long term fanfiction. I'm much better suited for oneshots and short term drabbles.

This drabble series is based on an upcoming fanfic I am collaborating on with the amazing writer Ordis here on fanfiction, inspired by the Captain America: Winter Soldier movie (WHICH YOU ALL HAVE TO SEE IF YOU HAVEN'T.)

In an alternate universe: Loki crashes into earth, and ends up being captured by Hydra. He's turned into a weapon (like the Winter Soldier, they try to erase his memory, only instead of the full on machine, they place a surgical attachment (Neuro inhibitors as I've labeled them) into his temples that electrocutes him when he tries to remember his life before or when he tries to resist their "treatments". And thus becomes an assassin and partner to the Winter Soldier

This is going to be one of those 5 times they didn't remember each other, and the 1 time they did. The details are meant to be a little distorted here, but it will be fully revealed in the full fledged fic Ordis and I are planning to write. This is the prequel of the amazingness that is going to occur!

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Marvel Movie Studios, because this would otherwise obviously be up on the movie screen. Obviously.

* * *

But all that I know is I'm breathing  
All I can do is keep breathing  
All we can do is keep breathing now

Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson

* * *

The first time they met, the soldier thought the man was wild.

He'd stood rigidly in the underground bunker, vibrating tension; a whip preparing to crack the air. The stranger's hair was lank and black as ink, his skin pale and drawn, and there was a bruised look beneath the too-blank eyes the Winter Soldier hadn't seen on any face but his own. The man was tall, definitely having a few inches on him, the standard leather he wore seeming to only accentuate this. The slick black hair hung like a tattered curtain around the man's face, framing his jade green eyes and silver metal implements inserted into his temples.

The soldier turned to his handler, blue eyes silently questioning.

"He is going to be your partner for this mission," The man_ (Pierce, a faint memory murmured)_ said simply, .

He raised his eyebrows. _Partner?_ He'd had backup before. Nameless men who followed his command and assisted in the mission and whose names he'd never cared to know. _Or did he? _

_But a partner_? Something tingled at the back of his mind, weak and nameless, vanishing before he could reach it. It didn't matter.

The stranger's face began to twist into - _Disdain? Disgust? Anger? _

Then he'd stiffened, eyes widening as sparks crackled from the metal implements. A violent shiver ran through the other's frame, and then he stilled, face smoothing back into blankness once more as he met the soldier's eyes.

"And that?" The Soldier asked, his voice rough with doubt as he turned back to his handler.

"Will not affect your mission." Pierce replied cooly, turning to the hologram of their target. A high standing politician. Three body guards. A small opening between shifts for them to move in.

He glanced back at the other man as their handler spoke, taking in the other man. This untrained weapon was going into the field like this? Or was he supposed to be his keeper until the green eyed soldier was ready? So he could terminate him if necessary? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

The stranger stared back, sharp green meeting his worn blue.

_Yes,_ he thought, turning to look at their mission instructions once more. _Definitely wild. _

* * *

DUN DUN DUN.

And believe me guys, this is only the beginning!


	2. Demons

Many thanks to Ordis for helping me write this chapter!

This chapter takes place from Loki's POV**.**

* * *

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Demons - Imagine Dragons

* * *

When they first met, he'd barely paid any attention to the other man, initially.

The man was obviously mortal, and he'd been a little too busy_ not_ screaming to concern himself with something so insignificant as that.

He'd been strapped to the table, because apparently they still felt this was _necessary_ even after they'd broken his arms and legs and bound the magic he might have used to heal them and everything else with some drug that burns in him like fire, and taints his blood like mud. Above him, the…scientists, they called themselves, though if they are they are very different from the ones who'd found- _**pain**; shivering, agonizing **pain**_, slowly cut away the skin of his chest, and pried his ribs apart with a sickening crack. The stranger had been watching. Well, what did he matter? He was just one more mortal, one more face.

He had been silent, naturally; jaw locked, tongue firmly between his teeth, refusing to let out a single whisper of pain in front of these men.

He'd amused himself with distractions, with thoughts. His mind had been swimming went they'd brought him in, it felt raw and abused, like their fingers had not just perverted his body but his thoughts, clawing and tearing with electricity. He had gotten the vague sense that he should not resist these people. Norns knew why, they were weak, flimsy men playing at being gods. But his instincts were what kept him alive, and so he struggled not to fight the bonds holding him down to the icy table.

And then, as the mortals finally drew away, as his lips had peeled back into a smile, the lights that had been glaring into his eyes (_had they always been there? Why can't he remember?_) were pushed away, and he suddenly realized someone was speaking from a great distance, as if through fog.

"He's been…cautious…damage…under…."

"Und…..ood."

He'd tried to reach for the words, to understand, to_ listen_.

A loud bang, and then silence.

He laid still on the table, tensed for cruel hands returning to him, snapping open his still healing chest and wrenching away his reprieve.

But it wasn't that.

There was a click at his right ankle.

And then his left.

Slowly, he realized he was being released from his bonds. It was only his pride that kept him from even releasing a shaky breath of relief. Then, something cool slipped under his weakened knees, and a solid arm cradled his head in the crook of an elbow. Then he was being _lifted_ off of the table and towards something solid and warm.

He felt like he was floating, exhaustion and a bone deep ache in his body making his head swim and long for sleep. But he couldn't sleep. Not yet.

As he felt the sway of his body as he was carried away, he struggled to open his eyes. Ebony lashes slowly pried themselves apart, his bleary eyes searching for his savior. Worn dark blue pools met his own, and he (shockingly) managed to crack parched lips.

"_Who are you_?" he breathed, his voice a thin whisper of sound.

The Soldier stared at him as he walked, cradling his broken body in his arms.

"Your partner."


	3. Bleeding Out

When the day has come  
That I've lost my way around  
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground  
When the sky turns gray  
And everything is screaming  
I will reach inside  
Just to find my heart is beating

Oh, you tell me to hold on  
Oh, you tell me to hold on  
But innocence is gone  
And what was right is wrong

Bleeding out - Imagine Dragons

* * *

The first time they met each other, it was on a mission that nearly went wrong.

The Winter Soldier narrowed his eyes at the guards, the microchip seeming to burn where it lay hidden in his pocket. His backup, a rowdy upstart all too eager to prove himself to his superiors, stumbled into an alarm just as they were about to make their way out. Thereby signaling every guard in the top secret Oscorp laboratory that they had just managed to avoid. He'd shot the man in the head in retaliation.

He jerked back as plaster and dust exploded where his head had just been. He almost regretted not letting the man live, if only to provide more cover. Almost. He pulled out his pistol, letting the magazine fall into his outstretched hand. Only 12 bullets left. Not nearly enough.

The Soldier cursed angrily in russian, slamming the magazine back into place as he did so.

An agonized cry down the hall signaled the fall of another ally as he pushed himself up into a crouch. It didn't matter. He had the chip, and he would finish his mission. Period. He breathed deeply, preparing to lunge-

Twin cries of agony from enemy lines rang through the narrow hallway.

He jerked back out of sight, tensing at the cacophony of gunfire and screams echoing down the hall. Unknown assailant on the enemy. Potential foe, potential ally. Only 12 bullets left and 2 men to act as backup.

He breathed, his metal fingers folding into a fist.

There was a sickening crunch of bone, and then silence.

He lunged, rolling across the hall, raising his pistol. Green eyes, framed by tarnished silver, met his steady blue. The bodies of the guards lay strewn around him, necks twisted unnaturally and their clothes growing red with blood. The combat knife in the other's hand dripped with the life fluid, and the man knelt down, turning away from him to wipe the blade against one of the fallen guard's sleeves.

"Who are you?" the soldier asked, not lowering his gun as the other man stood once more.

"Your partner." the man replied, green eyes meeting his without emotion as he turned, and walked back the way he came.


	4. Blinding

Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state  
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake  
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber  
Until I realize that it was you who held me under

Blinding - Florence + The Machine

* * *

The first time they met each other, it had been a blur.

His body had spasmed against the adamantium restraints, thrashing against the burning lightning burning through his veins. Pale skin dripped with sweat as he fought not to scream, gasping like a dying fish as green eyes hid behind wet lashes. The neural inhibitors screwed into his skull grew hot against his flesh, searing against bone as he struggled to breathe past the mouthpiece that was keeping him from biting off his tongue. Small mercies.

He didn't know how long he'd lain there, could have been hours, days, even centuries. He hardly could keep track now. His memories were being ripped away, tearing at his mind like a wolf would a rabbit, ripping him open and letting all he was spill out into nothingness. He tried to hold onto them, trying to recall -

**_Pain, Pain, why can't you learn DAMN YOU -_**

Suddenly, it ceased.

The man gasped for air, his pale chest heaving as his body shivered and twitched in the aftermath. Voices swam in and out of his ears, and various clicks he tried to make sense of as he came back into himself. The foreign object was pulled from his mouth by prying hands. His head lolled back and forth helplessly, his nerves struggling to respond and regain control of themselves as he tried to open his eyes.

"Only…days…not sure…..Sir."

"Fix…project…mission…up…running..."

"…Sir."

Green eyes opened into slits, twin pools of jade glazed over with pain as he took in his surroundings. A blurred figure in white stood in front of him, speaking to a figure in grey, vaguely gesturing as they argued. But, it was the figure directly across from him that seemed to capture his weakened mind. A figure in black, with a splash of silver down one side.

He blinked, and then blinked again. The figure had stepped closer, into his view. Hard blue met confused green, as he took in the other's appearance.

A muscular man, with dark brown hair that dangled in his eyes as he looked down at his weakened body. He wore black leather, and had an arm that appeared to be made of solid metal. He stood like a soldier, tall and hard; as if he had been a statue carved. They stared at each other, the painful rate of his heart finally beginning to slow as they watched each other.

Suddenly, he realized that the men were still arguing.

"He will be needed for the next mission in a few days. Centipede has already made quite a lot of progress with the super soldier serum, they can wait a little longer to have their hands on the alien."

"Sir, with all do respect-"

"I don't give a damn about respect, I give a damn about Project Insight, and Nick's already begun building the Helicarrier. I need to move a few more people into place before we can move forward."

"But Sir, Subject 824 is going to hold the key to solving the….Extremis problem. He's the fastest healer registered in the system. We could-" The man in white argued, but was cut off by the older man.

"He's more coldblooded than hot, you know that. We learned that when we tried to put him on freeze. He'll remain an asset until we've finished the mission, and then you can have at him." The grey haired man said, gesturing to him in the chair.

"I-…yes Sir…" The man in white sagged in obvious disappointment and submission, turning around face his exhausted patron.

The man in grey shook his head exasperatedly, before glaring at the blue eyed soldier. "You've served your purpose. You're relieved soldier."

For a split second, he thought he saw a flicker of inner conflict within the man, perhaps to stay? But then it was gone, nodding to his superior as he turned and walked out the barred door without a second glance.

He had laid there in confusion, the man in the white coat sitting down next to him and unstrapping him from the contraption, pressing two fingers to his wrist as he looked down at his watch.

"That man…" He murmured, his throat dry and hoarse as he stared at the door the other had exited out of. "Who was he?"

"Your partner." The (_scientist_, a voice in the back of his mind murmured) said half mindedly, reaching over for a piece of paper and scribbling something down on it.

He waited for him to return.

He did not.


	5. Losing Your Memory

Call all your friends  
Tell them I'm never coming back  
'Cause this is the end  
Pretend that you want it, don't react

Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

* * *

The first time they met each other, it was at the Winter Soldier's training session.

Every once in a while, they made him practice his combat skills in the specialized training room they provided. The walls were made of solid concrete and steel, allowing him to practice using both his metal arm and his bodily muscles with a training ring, weights, and various holograms they would occasionally light throughout the room for him to substitute moving targets.

Only, today, they had given him a live one.

They told him that he would be sparring with his partner today. A partner, wearing metal implants in his temples, or as one of the technicians he had overheard called them, the neuro inhibitors. Green eyes met his own steadily, waiting for their handler's signal.

"Are you ready soldier?" their handler asked, watching him intently.

He nodded, raising his fists obligingly as he stepped onto the mat.

His adversary's face remained blank, eyes tracking his every motion.

"Begin."

He exploded into motion, leaping forward-

Block, kick, block, punch, redirect, twist, kick, block-

Sidestep, block, block, knee, punch, twist, duck, block, punch-

They enter the deadly dance of combat, each move as complex as the next, knocking each other to the floor only to leap back to their feat, grappling and twisting around each other, each trying to gain the advantage. The soldier had worked long enough to know he only stopped when his handlers told him to. That was the best way to become stronger, to become better. The best way to complete his mission.

The man refused to tire, seeming hardly out of breath as he was knocked to the floor, dodging his metal fist as he rolled back onto his feet. He'd never dealt with this fighting style before. Curving, twisting, dancing in and out of reach yet managing to land heavy blows all the same.

His partner crouched beneath his sweeping kick, landing a solid punch to his unprotected side. He growled, turning to elbow his opponent, only to have him dance out of the way once more, leaving them circling each other.

Their handlers watched on through the window above them, one man writing something excitedly onto a clipboard as they observed; silent as they leapt once more into the fray.

He grunted as a foot collided with his back, reaching back to grab his rival's leg before he could retreat and twisting, using his momentum to bring him to the ground. The man was slammed against the mat with a grunt, and he quickly released the leg to straddle him before he could stand. His opponent snarled, swinging back to elbow him. The Soldier only grabbed the offending limb with his metal hand, taking his wrist and twisting it beneath him.

A snarl erupted from his black haired adversary, writhing underneath him, trying to buck him off. The other hand leapt upwards blindly, only to be pinned down to the floor by his human one. He didn't budge from his place, knowing he had the upper hand.

He put more pressure on the joint, slowly pushing it further and further. He watched, the muscles twisting under his hands, waiting for the cracking _pop_ of joints out of place-

The hand pinned against the floor made a twisting motion, and suddenly he was careening to the side, slamming against the floor with a bang. His head spun from the impact, and he only had seconds to gather himself before a heavy body suddenly straddled his, a knee pinned against his metal arm as a pale fist raised to strike-

"Release."

His hands retreated, and he climbed off of the other man.

They hurriedly climbed to their feet, panting as they looked towards the glass booth above them. The scientist was scribbling and murmuring rapidly as he looked at the nearby screens, Pierce and the other men inside looking pleased. "You did well. As you were." Pierce said, waving a hand at the door.

The metal door to the training room buzzed loudly, before swinging open.

Green eyes met his for a long moment, something similar to…wary respect shining in them as they stared. Then, with a blink, the other man turned, and walked away.

_Partner, huh? _He thought musingly, before following him out.


	6. Safe and Sound

I remember tears streaming down your face  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"

Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift

* * *

The second time they meet each other, it was on an assassination mission.

_A nuclear scientist being escorted to a remote location. One bodyguard. Black Widow. Highly renowned kill count. Proceed with caution._ He'd acted as backup once more.

It was supposed to be simple.

The target's car had been railroaded, the wreckage sent over a cliff and into the deep ravines below. They should have been dead.

But the Widow was much more skilled than they had anticipated her to be. She lay crouched over the scientist's frightened body, her hair a curtain of blood against the red break lights of their vehicle. The Winter soldier stepped out, raising his rifle.

She stood up, pushing the man behind her as she raised her pistol in retaliation. But he wasn't fooled.

A single shot rang out, tearing through blood and flesh and finding it's mark in the man's chest. _Target terminated._ The widow collapsed with a cry, almost unheeding of the body behind her as she grasped at her side, blood flowing over her fingers.

The Soldier turned, and walked back to the vehicle calmly. She was inconsequential to their mission now.

He waited for the fellow warrior's silent nod, before shifting the car into gear once more, racing forward and away from the dying figure behind them. _Mission Accomplished. _

Suddenly, the vehicle exploded in flame, cries tearing from their lips as the car swerved, before he managed to grasp the man's silver arm, magic leaping from his flesh and tearing open the door, sending them tumbling out onto the road. He fell, the world spinning as dark asphalt beat against his skin (_or himself against it?_) sending him tumbling, losing his grip on the other in the process.

Suddenly, there was no ground, and he reached out blindly, managing to grasp something before his body slammed into solid rock. He cried out, his metal implant jarring against his skull. He gasped in pain, forcing his eyes open.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing below him, but the rushing river and jagged rocks below

Long black hair whipped against his face, and he tried to focus on the present. The car exploded. The woman must have thrown a bomb at their car in vengeance, and nearly killed them. His hand was grasping some kind of loose root jutting out from the side of the cliff face. He stared at the abyss below him, sensing the flimsy plant that held his existence slowly begin to grow weak at its foundations, his body slowly sinking towards the inevitable fall.

_Pull up,_ He thought, his body locked in fear, _Pull up damn you._

**_No, Lo- _**

He seized, a startled cry escaping him as pain racked through his body. His fingers slipped, grasping at air-

A silver hand clamped down on his wrist.

Blue eyes met his shocked green, passing along the silent message. _Don't let go. _

He nodded silently, too stunned to do anything else.

There was a muted whir of gears, and then he was being heaved upwards with a grunt, up and onto the road, where their car lay in a burned wreck.

A piece of torn metal hung off of the Winter Soldier's arm, exposing the complex wires within. The Soldier himself looked less than pleased.

He shook his head, trying to clear it of the oncoming headache that was sure to come. "We must get to the drop off." He murmured, his voice rough from disuse.

The soldier nodded, already turning back towards the wreckage of the car. Ignoring the flames that licked over his metal hand, he reached into the fallen car, ripping the GPS from the driver's seat before tossing it towards his partner. "Let's go." He said stiffly, turning towards the desert.

* * *

It was nighttime when they arrived at the drop off point. They had walked for hours, missing the pick up time their handler has assigned to them. What would happen when their handlers found them went without saying.

He had made a fire, wordlessly waving his hand at the bundle of sticks, the spark of magic catching on the dried twigs and turning into a steady flame. They had sat silently as they waited, the temperature dropping steadily as the sun faded away.

The soft clicks and whirring of exposed gears floated around them, mingling with the crackling of the fire as the blue eyed warrior attempted to fix what little he could of his metal arm. He seemed unbothered by the cold, only pausing to wipe sweat away from his brow as he struggled to fix the machine attached to him single handedly.

He himself, however, felt differently. He didn't dare look at his hands, steadily turning a cerulean blue at his fingertips in the firelight. Whenever his hands turned like this, there were memories. And memories were unpleasant. He held out his hand to the flame, letting out a soft sigh as the heat washed away the cold, leaving his fingers pale and normal once more.

"What was that?"

He started, whipping around to look at the soldier. His ally didn't look up, fingers poking under the silver skin and feeling around the gears within as he worked.

"Pardon?"

"Before, on the cliff…" he began, his voice soft and thoughtful. "What was that?"

He paused, green eyes blinking in surprise. "I…assumed that you knew…"

"Knew what?" The man asked, glancing up at him as he clicked a few more gears back into place.

Jade irises flickered, unsure.

"The…neuro inhibitors…" he began softly. "I… my memories are…_unpleasant_." he confessed, glancing away into the distance, listening hopefully for the sound of quinjet engines.

His partner fell quiet, thinking most likely, before studiously going back to fixing his prosthetic arm.

They fell back into a comfortable silence, neither needing words to tell what the other was feeling.

There was a faint curse as the assassin cut his hand, pressing his red thumb against his lips, small red droplets staining the offending piece of torn metal that caused it.

"Here, let me." he sighed, reaching over to his partner. The man stiffened slightly, but didn't retreat, only watching the other man warily as he fiddled with his arm.

With a small grunt, pale hands twisted the metal, breaking it off with a clean snap. Gently rubbing a thumb along the broken edge, he nodded approvingly.

"There." he said, leaning back. "You'll be able to work more easily until they arrive."

Glancing over his work, the Winter Soldier nodded his thanks, glancing at the piece of broken silver clutched in Loki's hand.

"Do you plan on keeping it?" he asked, dark blue eyes inquisitive.

"Perhaps…" he replied, lifting up to the flickering light of the fire to examine it. It was a fine piece indeed, though he had seen better in-

A violent shiver wracked his spine, and his heart have a painful _squeeze_ in his chest. The man was silent, watching him shiver in agonizing pain only to gather himself once more wordlessly. Like a child seeing suffering but not understanding it's depth or hurt.

The silence grew tense this time, one unwilling to look weak and the other unwilling to look away. He inhaled deeply through his nose, ignoring the aching throb that follows each trespass. The flames begin to putter, the kindling they had managed to find in the forest still damp from recent rainfall.

Staring at the dying light he sighed, before extending his left leg. Reaching down and into his boot, he withdrew one of the standard daggers he had stowed in there. He had carried the knife ever since he could remember, staring at the little L carved onto the handle as if it somehow held the secrets to his existence. For all he knew, it did. But… it didn't seem right to leave the man without something in recompense…

He turned the blade over in his hand, offering the handle to his partner. "Here."

The man looked down in confusion, looking at the blade uncomprehendingly.

"Take it." he said, ducking his head to remain in eye contact. "I want you to keep it."

Slowly, the soldier obeyed, taking the knife from his hand. He stared at it, his eyes falling onto the carving. He looked up at him once more, blue eyes confused.

"Keep it." he emphasized. He laid a hand over the other man's fingers, closing them around the handle firmly.

The man slowly nodded, taking the blade and placing it into one of his sheaths.

Suddenly, lights burst into existence overhead, and their hands flew over their eyes.

It appeared their retribution had come…

* * *

He woke to ragged breaths, sweat dripping down sallow skin, and a vicious pounding inside of his skull. The machine retreated, sparks flickering out as awareness filtered back in.

"…..Subject 824 is awake Sir."

"Good."

A hand reached out and grasped his chin, gently guiding him to focus on a pair of cold blue eyes. "What do you remember?" the man asked, the bright lights above them reflecting off of the man's glasses and into his eyes.

He squinted, his eyes watering against the sting. He tried to think, to recall-

And grit his teeth against the pain, a muffled grunt escaping his lips as he clung to his seat.

"That's what I wanted to hear." the man said softly, releasing him. "Alright soldier. You're relieved of your duties for the time being. Get dressed." turning to the nearby man in the white coat (_had he always been there_?) he nodded. "As you were."

It was a blur how he got back to his room. A few escorts in black, as well as a few guns in his back, before the door was all but slammed shut behind him. He slowly shuffled over to his bed, tossing the clothes onto his bed. He released a sigh, pulling off his black leather armor and tossing the shirt to the floor.

Only, there was a metal clunk where only a soft thump should have been. He turned, staring at the pile. Slowly, he knelt down, gingerly lifting the leather.

A shining piece of metal met his gaze, a broken piece of silver that had been twisted round to make a ring, and hung from a thin black cord. Blinking at the sight, he turned the metal ring over in his hands, examining it. The metal was silver in color, foreign-make to his fingertips as he brushed his thumb along its surface. It's edges were ragged, and torn, as if it had been shorn from a clean slate, leaving it raw and crude looking. A broken piece of metal that wasn't even remotely attractive or bore precious gems. It was worthless, he knew that.

But just as his hand lifted to toss the offending piece of jewelry into the metal trash bin, he paused, his hand stilling. A faint tingle at the back of his mind, a wordless whisper murmuring against his senses. He lowered it, green eyes tracing the edges of the ring, a sense of familiarity settling against his fingertips as he gazed. He…shouldn't throw this away… Perhaps, it has meaning to something or someone. Perhaps he should keep it…just in case…

He lifted the cord, slipping it over his head to settle the ring against his chest.

Yes… he would keep this…

Just in case…


End file.
